The Heart Factor featuring Vanessa Werts
Note from The Publisher:
One of my goals for this website in 2018 was to develop more content in the areas of : Health and Wellness” and “Relationships.” “The Heart Factor” was developed to help you, and to help you help others. This column is about accountability. This column is about healing. This column is about relationships. The column is about the heart! As a result, I am very proud to present “The Heart Factor,” featuring author Vanessa Werts. Vanessa speaks to men and women in a way that’s “hearable.” To quote Vanessa, “No one escapes getting hurt in this life. There are so many unavoidable issues that break the heart such as emotional, mental and physical abuse; abandonment and rejection; a lack of hope from unfulfilled desires; loss and grief; being unhappy with one’s physical attributes, and the list goes on.”
Enjoy “The Heart Factor” and the “30-Day Heart Cleanse” – Gary Johnson, Publisher – Black Men In America.com
WEEK 1 – FORGIVE
Day1: Forgive Yourself
Forgive yourself for: mistakes you’ve made, keeping secrets, poor decisions, failed relationships letting fear stop you, contemplating suicide, quitting too soon…
Additional Commentary: Forgive yourself. Let yourself off the hook. No more regrets. No more vendettas against yourself. Your soul needs you to forgive you. We’re moving forward in 2018. It’s time to heal.
20 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.
1 John 3:20
Day 2: Forgive Your Parents
Your parents did the best they knew how. Parents can have a broken heart too. And broken hearts break hearts. Forgive them for not being there; for calling you out of your name; for favoring another sibling over you; for abandoning you; for rejecting you; for not protecting you or standing up for you. Forgive them for breaking your heart and all the things you hold against them.
Additional Commentary: Most of us will never fully know our parents’ lives. We don’t know all they experienced in their first 20-30 years. We don’t have all the facts. Life had already dealt them so pretty hard blows before you came on the scene. Just forgive them and free your heat. Pray for their healing and honor them.
Day 3: The Truth About Lies
- Time does not heal all wounds. Without caring for the wound, time just passes and infection sets in.
- Sticks and stones may break your bones AND words do hurt. They beat-up the heart.
- Don’t follow your heart. If it is broken, fearful, insecure…it will lead you wrong. Follow Jesus.
Additional Commentary: Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but the lords directs his steps (see Proverbs 16:9). When you ask Jesus to come into your heart, trust his lead; follow him.
Day 4: Forgive People Unrelated to You
Forgive your friends, acquaintances, co-workers, supervisors, church members, neighbors, bullies, dream killers, teachers, customer service representatives… Folks unrelated to you that hurt or disrespected you at any point in your life.
Today’s Activation: If you owe someone an apology, today is a great day to make it happen. You can do it. Free your conscience and your heart.
14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” – Jesus Matthew 6:14-15
Day 5: Forgive Your Relatives
Bloodline is bloodline. For reasons we do not know, God chose them for you. Maybe you are the one to break generational curses. Maybe you are the one to introduce love and understanding; the catalyst for change, to usher in a new era of breakthrough and blessing for your kindred. Be a forerunner in your family. Set the precedence for generations to come. Forgive Just forgive…
Additional Commentary: Forgive your siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and children. God knew the perfect family to place you in. These lovelies are your motivators and inspiration. Their lives remind you of what not to do, how not to be and also provides examples to emulate and believe that anything is possible.
Day 6: Forgive Men/Women in Past Romantic Relationships
Unlike bloodline relationships, we choose who we soul-tie ourselves to. The heart-break from toxic romance must be healed. Otherwise new love – the right love – will suffer. Forgive the ones that broke your heart, and refuse to dishonor yourself as you move forward. Dishonor is not a kingdom principle.
Leave your man and woman baggage in 2017. God has something new for you this year! Do you not perceive it?
18 “Do not remember the former things, Or ponder the things of the past. 19 “Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.
Anyone that wasn’t part of your journey, isn’t necessary for your destiny. Let go of regrets and grudges. Hello Beautiful! You made it without them. Now…live!
Day 8: Love is Patient
God is not surprised that you’re waiting. Patience is about waiting (without attitude) for God’s divine timing to bring things about in your life. Don’t let frustration and anxiety play games with your heart. Frustration and anxiety will lead you to have safety nets and a plan B. (Watch out for this.) Your life is on God’s timetable. Glean the lessons from where you are now. God loves you and plans to prosper you; to give you hope and a future. Trust Him and be patient with yourself.
Today’s Activation: If you’re considering an alternative option just in case God doesn’t come through for you, ask God to help you wait for Him.
16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. Psalms 139: 16 NLT
Additional Commentary: Every day of your life was planned by God since the beginning of time. If there is a delay in things happening, be patient. He knows what He’s doing. You are always on His mind. Pray and wait and watch for His hand, moving in your life.
Day 9: Love is Kind
Be kind to yourself today. Say kind things to yourself. You are wonderful and unique. You are exactly what God wanted when He created you. Too often negative words are spoken to us by those we love and even strangers. How easy it is for the world then to try and define us. So, today, choke out the negative things by speaking kind words to yourself.
Today’s Activation: Do something for yourself that makes you smile. Treat your wonderful one-of-a-kind self, good today – all day long!
Additional Commentary: Love is patient. Love is kind… The heart cleanse is about your heart. Your soul needs to know that you love yourself. From there, you will know how to love others. Be good to yourself today.
Stress is about fear … fear of the unknown.
Faith is about trusting God with the unknown.
Fear is at the root of your anxiety, panic, stress and depression (non-clinical).
It’s not about stress management it is about “self” management: cleansing the heart, renewing the mind, and trusting God.
25 Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad.
Proverbs 12:25 NKJV
Check out our Home page on Sunday, for Next Week’s Topic: “Pursue Love” featuring a New Video from Vanessa Werts
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February 1, 2018
A few years back, I had a vision of God rummaging through my heart. He picked up a brick and said, “What’s this? How did this get here?” Then, He set it aside to reach deeper. The last thing I heard Him say while holding something I didn’t recognize was, “I thought this had been thrown out a long time ago. We need to get rid of this.”
I was blown away by the symbolism of God wanting to clean up my heart. At the time, it hadn’t dawned on me that my heart needed to be cleansed, or healed for that matter. Everything that life had thrown at me—the rejection of my father in childhood, sexual assault as a teenager, infidelity in marriage, single parenthood, and a host of other situations—I’d survived. I weathered every storm.
But what God was saying to me in that vision was, yes, you weathered the storms, but your heart was wounded in the process and in some places, became ill. The wounded places in the vision represented the hurt caused by rejection, mistreatment, disappointment, discouragement, ill-spoken words toward me, and the like. And the object that God held in his hand that I didn’t recognize represented the sick places in my heart that grew from being unforgiving.
God found grudges, roots of bitterness, anger, and even hatred deeply tucked away in my heart. Even now, thinking about the condition of my heart back then makes me cringe. How could I love anyone, including myself, from a place that unhealthy?
Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted, it says in Isaiah 61:1, to set the captives free. Salvation through Jesus Christ is only the beginning. Setting the captives free has more to do with your heart being healed than it does any other part of your being.
It is a spiritual injustice for your heart to remain broken. It is a spiritual injustice for you to feel insecure, hopeless, unloved, and unworthy of God’s best for your life. If you are experiencing spiritual injustices in your life, there is a lie at the root—a lie that has crept into your personal belief system and is masquerading as the truth.
For me, feeling unwanted by my father as a child, and later experiencing sexual assault as a teenager, planted seeds of rejection, hate, bitterness, jealousy, shame, and rage that grew into deeply rooted insecurities and a lack of self-love. I didn’t believe that I was enough for a man. Yes, I knew I was attractive, but it had already been proven in my life that looks weren’t enough to keep a man—it didn’t keep my father present. So, for years, I held my life together, excelling in my career, providing for my two sons, and crying out to God when life overwhelmed me, pressing forward no matter what, yet I ached on the inside for someone to love and accept me for who I was. The little girl inside of me, who was taken advantage of and rejected, wanted to feel loved.
Those negative seeds in my heart manifested in my adult relationships with harsh words toward anyone who had something to say that I didn’t like, and I definitely didn’t stick around in romantic relationships with men who didn’t show me love the way I needed to receive it. It was always easy to walk away and move on like nothing ever happened. Life had taught me that.
Shortly after my thirty-ninth birthday, God used a Believer that I’d recently met on a trip to my hometown in Alabama to say these words to me: God said to tell you that you don’t love yourself.
Now, I was surprised, stunned, taken aback, shocked, appalled—everything you can think of when someone drops an unexpected bomb on your life. This person had been apprehensive to tell me, and therefore, he’d waited two months before finally obeying God. Needless to say, those words shook my world. That was foolishness. My appearance was very important to me. I always kept myself together—hair, nails, the way I dressed. I was the consummate professional at work, and I didn’t leave home without at least eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss, and my brows filled in. This word from the Lord had to be wrong.
Nevertheless, I asked God, how could it be? How could I not love myself? And after I asked the question and really opened up to hearing from God on the matter, the answer came as clear as you see the words on this page. God said, “You don’t honor yourself in relationships with men. You allow yourself to be used in ways you don’t agree with because you believe that you have to do what they want to get what you want. But it doesn’t work like that,” He said. “I am Lord of your life and I love you. The void you’re trying to fill is My place in your heart. Let me love you, Vanessa. Honor yourself, Vanessa. As you honor yourself, I will honor you with a man who will honor you too.”
My goodness. What a powerful word from the Lord! Yet, even after hearing God speak those life-changing words to me in my brokenness, I struggled with the truth of it. I had believed a lie for so long—that I wasn’t enough without doing something special—till it was a major task to accept my own truth. What I really wanted was love and acceptance, to be honored, but because of the lie, I had settled for sex and indifference.
My latest book Lies and Love is about cleaning up the chaos in your heart. By the word of God’s power, in 30 days, it will help you to utterly destroy every lie and injustice operating in your life. Your heart will be made free to trust, to hope, to forgive, to love, and to be loved. You will discover the radical love of God working in your life as He meets you where you are.
The Lies and Love 30-Day Heart Cleanse is where we declare war and victory over your life and destiny. Whether you find yourself in the place where God found me, broken and dishonoring myself, or you need to be encouraged in your faith, the 30-day cleanse will reset and refresh your heart.
Lastly, before you close this letter, if the word that God spoke directly to me about honoring myself speaks to where you are in your life right now, replace my name with yours in that paragraph. Speak that word over your life daily until your heart, mind, soul and body come into agreement with it. God will help you with this and inspire you with ways to change your life for the better.
Peace in all things,
Lies and Love the 30-Day Heart Cleanse can be purchased in print and eBook, and is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Indie Bound, iBooks, Smashwords and more.
VANESSA D. WERTS is an author, military veteran, and minister with an abiding love to bridge the gap from people’s life experiences to the promises of God. Vanessa is a native of Birmingham, Alabama and currently resides with her family in a suburb of Washington, DC.
To learn more about Vanessa click on any of the following links:
Website link to 30-Day Heart Cleanse: https://www.vanessawerts.com/30-day-heart-cleanse
Copyright © 2018 Vanessa D. Werts