The Anatomy of Bullying – Part II by Jabar – The Premier Online Magazine for Black Men

In Part II of ”The Anatomy of Bullying” by Jabar speaks about the underlying reasons bullying is so prevalent in this day and age.

“Inconsiderate words and deeds can pierce a person just as easily as a sharp razor. Both actions possess the repugnant ability to affect a person’s desire to excel in life. For this reason and amongst others, we should give careful thought and consideration to how we interact with one another.”

-Excerpt from What Would You Do If Someone Disrespects You by Jabar

The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life” John 6:63. The informed are aware God created everything by speaking it into existence, therefore, it should be un-debatable as to the immense power words possess. Nevertheless repeated old adages passed down from generation to generation such as “sticks and stones my break your bones but words will never hurt, ” have been a major contributing factor to the high homicide rate. The graveyard is full of people who focused more on speaking their mind then bridling their tongue. Hello, many people have literally died over a conversation.

In all honesty, occasionally a burning desire grows inside of all of us that causes us to feel like we can only be satisfied by saying or doing something hurtful. In our mind such a response is justified when we feel disrespected or annoyed; however, nothing could be further from the truth. To add to this ignorant way of thinking, we perceive no clear and present danger derived from saying such things. This ignorant way of thinking prevails until the consequences become an absolute reality.

Loudly proclaim your First Amendment Right to Freedom of Speech if it pleases you, it is your right. You also have a Fifth Amendment Right to remain silent. So why is it that you would consider it unwise to exercise your rights to Freedom of Speech and tell the police were you buried the body of the person that you murdered? Aha, because the consequences, prison, would become an absolute nightmare of a reality, which you seek to avoid.

In highlighting the different perceptions based on the known consequences of each action, I’m trying to get you to see that one perception is based on knowing that the police will send you to prison if you confess, while the uncertainty of the consequence of saying or doing something hurtful to someone is unknown.

So why does the unawareness of the consequences of bullying not halt people in their tracks. Are we by nature gamblers or do we secretly rely on the other person’s awareness of the consequence of their actions to keep them from acting out? If we are naturally gamblers then we are merely looking at a person’s outer appearance while hoping that they have strong morals and principals and devoid of a vengeful heart. Or maybe the person doing the bullying feels so hopeless he/she does not care one way or the other. I do not pretend to have all of the answers; however, what I do know is people who bully act out what they believe.

I do know these two things to be the truth: Reasonably a person cannot expect threatening talk or acts to result in a positive result, the two are in total disagreement, anything to the contrary is patently false; and I have never heard of a person extending a gracious word setting off a mass shooting?

So could the key to ending bullying be as simple as interacting with one another with kindness and empathy? Let’s give it a try. I see you’re struggling can I assist you? I like your dress. Have a blessed day. Thank You. Let’s talk maybe I can help you deal positively with what you have going on. Who desires to shoot someone for saying or doing those compassionate things?

I’m here to tell you pride and arrogance are two of the devil’s most powerful tools. If the thought you should not have to be scared to speak your mind is persistently gnawing at you, the devil is knocking at the door of your mind vying for your attention. But remember nothing is more satisfying to him than seeing you get the top of your head knocked off. Do not allow him inside your head, unquestionable he’s bad company. The devil will go through considerable effort to keep you from comprehending this truth: harmful things never return with good results. This is why you avoid pissing in the wind.

Dissecting the layers of bullying, by design, has caused all of us to look deep within ourselves. There is no denying that by every implication, the reality is, the bad traits that youth learn, whether or not it was our earnest desire came from us.

Crushing hostility and defiance means that we have to come-face-to-face with some harsh realities. It is/was well worth it, how can we honestly expect youth to listen to us explain the best way for them to live their lives when we were/are living in total contradiction? Put another way, these youth hear us but why should they listen to us when we do not have trustworthy credentials?

Some will argue rightfully so that the tongue is a beast that is difficult to control. With that said we possess the ability to correlate how extremely powerful our words are and how that can lead to consequences that we do not want to become or absolute reality. In addition when we come to accept that words have life or death consequences, we will all begin to treasure words, used them wisely, and avoid idle talk because we will clearly understand how what we say can impact a person’s life in a positive or negative way. More importantly it will make us better people.

Lastly, the spirit corrupting process, the devil’s means of increasingly bringing to fru±tion his evil desires, working through any of us, requires our compliance. Contrary to popular belief, therefore making it one of the devil’s most effect tools, is the repeated lie that the devil possess the ability to exert power over us. What a lie he does not!! By no means can the devil extract our obedience, we, must willingly relinquish our obedience to him. Look for the conclusion of this epic conversation in next month’s issue as we continue to enlighten our mind.

Jabar, Writer and Youth Advocate from St. Louis, MO, Is the Author of: