THE WARMUP IN THE BULLPEN

     Welcome to a new column from Barnstorm Communications International on marriage. No, I’m not a ‘marriage coach’ or a ‘life counselor.’ I’m more of an encourager, based on my background and experience. In short, I’d advise anyone seeking advice to find out how much of life that your ‘advisor’ has lived, and whether or not their life experiences have made them a better person—or a bitter one.

     I would describe the social influences of today through the following illustration. Rehoboam,  after his father Solomon had passed away, became the new king of Israel. King Rehoboam had it made. He was the grandson of King David who was well loved of God, and son of Solomon, whom God had given much wisdom and understanding. David was known for the Psalms. Solomon was known for the Proverbs. With a background like this, how could Rehoboam mess up? Simply put, by ignoring the wisdom of the trusted older advisers in the kingdom, and instead taking his advice from those young men who were around his age. You know, the “Social Influencers” of his day.

     The end result? The nation of Israel was split. Of the total twelve tribes, ten went one way, and two went another. The moral to the story: You take your advice from someone who knows less than you, and you are heading for a fall. Talk to folk who have a little gray in the temples and have already BEEN where you want to go.

     A few things up front. First, I will be writing this column series mainly for men. I’ve been writing columns such as this from a biblical, business, and common-sense perspective for nearly 30 years. Men have ALWAYS lacked encouragement in our feminized Mainstream Mess (MSM) and Social Media (SM) landscape. I’m not a social influencer, nor do I intend to be.

     Brother, you may not need this column now…but you WILL need it down the road.

     Let’s state the obvious. Women have always had a massive support system when it comes to dating, getting married and becoming wives and mothers. However, from a biblical perspective (KJV Only please) MORE is expected of men when it comes to marriage and family. HE is the prophet, priest, and provider for the home. HE is the HEAD of the home. In fact, in marriage, the MAN leads, and the WOMAN submits to his lead. The HUSBAND is the five-star general, and the WIFE is the four-star general. IF I were using a football analogy, the husband and wife are on the same team, but in different positions. No position is ‘inferior’ to another, but there can only be ONE quarterback calling the plays for the team; ONE head coach and ONE owner of the team.

     In the words of T. D. Jakes: “A nation of women cannot raise up a nation of men.”

     Second, I have lived life. I had a disastrous first marriage of ten years, which ended in divorce. Plenty of fault on BOTH sides. STILL playing the ‘child support disco’ mix even though the kids are grown, and have been programmed against me. She got the house, the car, and the crib—so much for Women’s Lip. However, Jesus Christ found me in the midst of that mess, saved me, healed me, called me, and got me ready for a SECOND chance. My current marriage has been going strong for MORE than 30 years.

     And she IS a Christian woman who is supportive of the ministry God has assigned me. WHEN it was time to remarry, I LISTENED to the Lord’s command and am STILL blessed by His wisdom.

     First point of encouragement: make sure that BOTH of you are going in the SAME direction brothers. Christians cannot marry outside of the faith (II Corinthians 6:14 KJV). Thus, my brother, if YOU are a Christian, if you are thinking of dating and marriage, look for the Christian label. Make sure Jesus Christ has her BEFORE the church has her. Make sure is a growing Christian rather than a bitter, worldly, fleshly, undisciplined woman…a woman who has forsaken parental advice, church doctrine and/or wisdom from other elders in the community.

     Brothers, IF you are Christians, and you are meant to marry, marriage is VITAL to your mission from Christ. In fact, in order for you to BE a preacher, Pastor or Deacon, the Epistles of First and Second Timothy and Titus have SPECIFIC requirements concerning your home life. Of course, in our modern era, many churches have deliberately overlooked those requirements AND have suffered. So have the leaders that are in charge of those churches. And, as we well know, if the leadership is out-of-order, and the pulpit is out-of-order, the congregation is going to be jacked up to! Thus, Jesus Christ is NOT being glorified, and the world is laughing as his church—because they REFUSE to follow his rules as contained in the Scriptures.

     But I digress.

     Married people do more before six am than single people do the whole day—with or without children. However, marriage is NOT for the selfish, lazy, or morally compromised. Marriage is an honor. It is for adults, NOT children. Read ‘The Love Chapter’ of the KJV Bible. Verse 11 reminds us that a man—to genuinely love—MUST put away childish things to prove that he is grown.

     Brother, are you ready to grow up and take that next step into marriage. I would encourage you to get yourself ready for the journey and blessing of a lifetime. While you are warming up in life’s bullpen, best to check your spiritual armor before you decide to step onto the field of marriage. Too many ‘social influencers’ have wound up WAY dead before they have reached the age of 30. Why? IMHO, it is because they a) have not received any solid advice from upright people, and b) did not know that life is ONLY guaranteed, one day at a time (Hebrews 9:27 KJV). Lastly, too many social influencers have blasphemed God—and His Word.

     He doesn’t take too kindly to this.

     While we are in the bullpen doing our warmups, it also helps to remember that in the Book of Proverbs, God can BLESS you by letting you find a GOOD wife, or He can CURSE you by allowing you to trapped and married to the wrong woman; an ungodly woman. Further, just for your information as we wrap up this opening salvo, a few items to remember:

            *When you date, be the man God created you to be. IF she has expensive tastes and won’t ‘settle’ to be with you, instead of what you can buy her, DUMP her. Yes, there is a time for popping the Champaign cork…but that is MUCH further down the road.

            *No sex until the wedding night. Period. First, this is God’s way. Second, there are STILL some STDs out there that are DEADLY.

            *I don’t care how ‘modern’ today might be, with SM and the like, but this is the advice MY Daddy gave me and it still serves a brother well: NEVER where you live or work! I hasten to add or worship. Too many women can give a man heartache, headaches, and RUIN his reputation, and SOME of them sit in church Sunday morning singing Amazing Grace after they had a hellish Saturday night on the dating scene!

     More to come.

Mike Ramey is a Retired Gospel Minister, KJV Bible Teacher, syndicated columnist and Bible Prophecy Specialist who lives in Indianapolis, Indiana. He is a Circuit rider of the Funky Electronic Frontier. “Ramey’s Encouragements On Marriage” is one of a variety of his columns appearing and abounding in print and cyberspace, written from a biblical, business, and common-sense perspective since 1996. Catch Mike Ramey’s columns on X (Twitter), Substack, Faithwriters.com, LinkedIn and in fine publications like this one! To drop him a line—or a whine—the address is still the same: mgmikeramey@yahoo.com. ©2025 Barnstorm Communications International.