African AmericansBlack AmericaBlack InterestsBlack MenBlack Men In AmericaWomen's Interests

A Woman’s Point of View on Relationships with Men by Donna Marie

Studio portrait of mature couple kissing

The New Trend and Why

By Donna Marie (Posted April 11, 2017)

One thing is for sure, girls are dating older guys much more so now than ever before thus shunning what society and the gossipers think.

Just think I moved to Atlanta GA for employment and a better lifestyle. However, I found the social aspects of my life took a downhill spiral. I dated boys instead of men. I looked at myself and realized I was moving backwards.

What’s driving these relationships lopsided by age? Is there an element of perversion? An aligning of planets given that girls mature faster than boys? Or is this trend fueled by one’s instinct to nurture or be nurtured? Are there simply more benefits dating someone much older.

Why more younger women like Donna Marie are falling into the arms of older guys.

When a young woman starts entertaining these thoughts, seldom will she find a man her own age who hears the same little voice as she does. Men are wired differentlyas if you didn’t already know. And this is why single older guys are an appealing proposition – they too hear that same little voice inside their head. His days of partying have come to a close, he’s experienced with women and has been around the block enough times to know what most woman want.

A guy who is older provides security, is ready to have a young vibrant, intelligent mate he is less likely to be a player, is far more adept in communication and is financially motivated to provide a loving and safe environment for his beautiful younger lady and family.

Younger women often enjoy the company of older man for a variety of reasons. A very common reason that many women turn to older men is that these men are more mature than the men their own age. Women mature faster than men and therefore want to be with a man who is closer to them in maturity level. Women do not want to date a man who would rather play computer games then spend time with her. This is not a problem with an older man.

Some women, and in particular those who have an absent father, look to an older man as a type of father figure or mentor. This is often a mutually beneficial arrangement for both parties involved. A woman will receive guidance and gain more life experience from being with an older man while the older man gets to feel that he is powerful and is looked up to by the woman.

Men who are mature also tend to be worldlier and more self-confident as they know themselves better, which is something that attracts younger women. Older men are more experienced sexually but tend to have less of a sex drive but many women find that the lovemaking with an older man is completely fulfilling to them, as older men are better at listening to the needs of a younger woman than a man their own age tends to be. Not being as drive by testosterone often makes older men better in bed than younger men, according to some women. Older men often view pleasure in a different light than younger men and are more concerned with the woman’s pleasure as opposed to their own. This makes them very appealing to younger women.

Older men tend to be more steadfast and stable and are generally more established and settled in their chosen careers than are younger men. The security that comes from being financially viable and well established is traits that tend to draw younger women to older men in droves. An older man is no longer in college or struggling away at a low paying job but is secure and generally doing well at his profession.

Women like the chivalry that older men often show and they like the fact that older men tend to have more respect for them and they are polite and have manners. Women like men who know how to be men. In today’s society many young people are delaying growing. Most women want to be with men who are responsible and can stand on their own two feet and are able to support themselves and take care of themselves without their mother’s help. Most women do not want a man who is supported his parents. That is why many younger women seek out the company of an older man.

Black Male Statistics

According to official estimates from the US Census Bureau the Black male population in the United States was 21.5 Million in 2013. This is 48% of the total Black population compared to Black females who make up 52% of the Black population.

Compared to all males in America Black males are on average younger at 31 years old compared to the age of ‘all males’ (36 years old). However, when looking at a breakdown of age Black male children under 18 years old are at the same percentage as ‘all male children’ (51%). The percent of the population who are males declines much quicker for Black males as they get older due to a higher mortality rate than males on average (see table on left). This considering that men of all races and ethnicities have a shorter lifespan than women.


In 2013 about 48% of Black men 25 and older attended college although half of them did not complete a degree compared to 58% of ‘all men’ who attended college who just under half have no degree (see chart below).

The biggest disparity between Black men and ‘all men’ in America is with those who have a bachelor’s degree. Only 17% of Black men have a bachelor’s degree compared to 30% of ‘all men’. Second is the number of Black men who finished high school but did not pursue higher education, 35% compared to 28% of ‘all men’.

The percent of Black men who have an associate’s degree (7%) is equal to that of ‘all men’ (7%) in America (see above table). Only 18% of Black men over 25 did not complete high school. This is still higher than the percent for men of all races and ethnic groups together.


African American males ages 16 to 64 had a lower participation rate in the labor force (67%) compared to ‘all males’ (80%) (see below table). Labor force participation refers to the percent of men who were either working or looking for work. Males not in the labor force include those who may be full time students, disabled, and others who are not looking or gave up looking for employment for other reasons.

The 37% of African American males who worked full time all year in 2013 had median earnings of $37,290 in 2013 compared to $48,099 for ‘all men’ (above table). Of Black males ages 16 to 64 years old, 40% had no earningsin 2013 which was higher than the 30% with no earnings of ‘all men’ in the same age group. Also a larger percentage of Black males 16 to 64 were unemployed than for ‘all men’ (11.2% compared to 7.3%) and were living below the poverty level (26%) than ‘all men’ (15%).

Compared to ‘all men’ in the United States Black men who worked were much less likely to work in occupations that may be considered white collar and were much more likely to hold blue collar or service jobs. Only 42% of working Black men held white collar jobs compared to 75% of ‘all men’ (see left chart). For the purpose of the above table white collar occupations include but are not limited to jobs in management, business, computers, office, legal, education, etc. More about Employment…


Blue collar occupations which were held by 36% of working Black men include employment in construction, maintenance and repair, installation, production, transportation, etc. Service occupations include healthcare support, protective service, food preparation and serving, etc.


About 6% of working-age (18-64yrs old) Black men are currently in state or federal prison, or in a municipal jail (see chart right). This is three times higher than the 2% of ‘all men’ in the same age group. What’s even more concerning is that approximately 34%* of all working-age Black men who are not incarcerated are ex-offenders compared to 12% of ‘all men’ which means they have at one point in their lives been convicted of a felony. This data coincides with the increased absence of Black men in the labor force because ex-offenders are prevented from obtaining a large percentage of occupations either by law and are often legally discriminated against by private employers.

Fourteen percent of working-age Black men are veterans of U.S. military which is just slightly lower than all male veterans (15%). A larger percentage of working age Black men are considered disabled (16%) compared to ‘all men’ (11%).



The percentages of Black men who are married and who have never been married are almost the exact opposite of those percentages for ‘all men’ in America (chart).  Although 51% of Black men have NEVER been married 50% of ‘all men’ are currently married. Only 32% of Black men are currently married while only 36% of ‘all men’ in America have NEVER been married.

Black men are also slightly more likely to be separated from their spouses (4%) compared to all men at 3%. In addition, Black men are much less likely to outlive their wives and therefore are less likely to be widowed (3%) compared to 10% of ‘all men’.

Black men are more likely to be married than Black women. As a matter of fact, there are about 364,000 more Black men who are married than Black women even though Black women are 51% of the Black population.

Would you believe it’s not about money.  I am a professional Black woman with a salary in the six-figure category and I don’t need or want a man for his money. I want to be a flower in the garden and not compete with XBOX, Facebook etc.

What do you think?  Don’t be shy.  Join the conversation.  Scroll down to the bottom of the page and voice your opinions in the “Comments” section.  Or, write your own commentary and send it to

Black Men In
Since our launch in 2001, Black Men In has evolved from a news site focusing on black men to a well-rounded social, current events and political website featuring content that people want to share and talk about.  We have thought-provoking content that aims to educate, entertain and inspire our site visitors to become good citizens and role models in their community.  Please do not use this site to post or transmit any unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, obscene, vulgar, pornographic, profane or indecent information of any kind, including without limitation any transmissions constituting or encouraging conduct that would constitute a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability or otherwise violate any local, state, national or international law. You alone are responsible for the material you post.

2017 British Virgin Island (BVI) Reunion Update

Previous article

Author Spotlight: “Miracle’s Destiny,” by Georgette Littlejohn

Next article

You may also like


Leave a Reply