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Men On Their Best Behavior by Jeffery Bowden


Guest Commentary Posted December 4, 2017

I’ll admit I was getting a little paranoid about the recent events among the male species. I mean, it seems like any and all past behavior was up for scrutiny and the complainant had the weight of believability on their side. This put an enormous burden on the regular everyday “Joe” who aside from an occasional lingering look or erotic thought at the sight of an appealing individual had to check and double check their posture. Nervous are we in elevators, office suites, or bank lines hoping that the personal space or innocent banter couldn’t be misconstrued. Seems the mighty have fallen well, at least not all…Donald. Yet a fun loving, gregarious, quick witted male who once was given to be somewhat quick to speaking before thinking and acting before thinking are entering into a new phase of our society.

Then I thought wait a minute, what are we actually seeing here. This is not the benign “what’s that fragrance you’re wearing” or “that’s an attractive outfit you have on” or “good morning, how are you?”. This is the “come to my office I have something to show you and then locking the door”, “can I give you a ride home and pull into a hotel parking lot” or worse, “you’re so fine, I can’t keep my hands off of you and DON’T” kind of intrusion. The “I’ll just grab them by the p—-y” kind of attitude just because I’m male and what you gonna do anyway…report me? To who? About what? Who’s gonna believe you anyway. It my word against yours kind of power.

So my nervousness, anxiety, guarded behavior…(who am I kidding), is still there. The only benefit is that I am more conscious, more aware, more deliberate about what I say and what my personal space is. In perspective we have an admitted pedophile behavior, a 30 year old man on purpose seeking out underage girls, blatant genitalia exposure for sexual response, abduction and unlawful restraint against ones will, use of mind altering chemicals to subdue and control for sexual pleasure. That’s some nasty (to quote Huggy Low Down) “shiggity”. This wasn’t the consensual attraction between two people who are in control, this is a power dynamic attributed to rapist and sexual deviants. This is the cheap low down crap that I wouldn’t allow and would give a serious beat down to any person who did this to my wife, sister, mother or friend.

Yet, I want my sisters to know they have an ally. Someone who will step up and step in. I do know now what I knew then. That using your physical, economical, vocational power to force someone to do something against their will is criminal. Its the stuff of overseers and enslaved women during slavery. Its the detestable narrative a guy should lose friends over. So the #Me Too campaign is shaking the male universe. The male planet has shifted a bit off is axis, the trajectory of our rotation around our source of light and heat has been altered. So my “talk” with my son takes a deeper and more urgent meaning and includes the 14th commandment: Don’t be a dick!

My two cents worth.

Jeff Bowden is President of United Deaf Ministries, an international ministry serving Deaf people in spirituality, education, health, sign language training and interpreting services.  He’s also an entrepreneur for Wakaya Perfection, a business of quality health and wellness products to make your life better.  Click here to learn more.

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