Editorial Contribution by Sally Writes

Breaking up and getting back together is part of most romantic relationships – just ask Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union, or Chrissy Teigen and John Legend. Fortunately for these celebrity couples, their time apart made them realize how important their relationship is, and both pairs got married after getting back together. Rebuilding a relationship takes time and commitment, but if you’re willing to put in the work, you can start the healing process and make things better the second time around. Here’s how to start over after breaking up and making up. 

Figure out if it’s possible to make things work

Before doing anything to rebuild your relationship, you need to figure out first if it’s truly possible to make things work with your ex. Toxic relationships usually go through a cycle of breaking up and making up, and with every cycle, people find that nothing has changed despite promises to make things better. If this is the case, then it may be better to let go and move on, then learn how to grow as a person so you’ll avoid making the same relationship mistakes in the future. But if issues such as poor communication, lack of intimacy, or constant arguments about money is what caused the break up, then take heart. With patience and the right approach, these problems can be resolved and get better over time. 

Communicate, and get to know each other again

Once you’ve made the decision to rebuild your relationship, make sure that both of you are on the same page. Both parties need to put in the time and effort to heal the relationship because if one of you isn’t willing to do this, you’ll likely encounter the same problem over and over again. Then, start by talking to each other honestly, and figure out why you broke up in the first place so that you can prevent it from happening again. If you cannot talk to each other without arguing, consider going to couple’s therapy so you can improve the way you communicate with each other.   

During the healing process, it’s important to get to know each other all over again so you can reinvent your relationship. Bond over a new activity, or go on dates to places where the two of you have never been before. Bringing something new into the relationship can help you reignite the spark that was lost, and it will help you to see your partner in a new light.

Manage your expectations

Healing a relationship takes time, and for some people, it takes only weeks or months in order to forgive. But for some, it may take longer than that, so manage your expectations, and don’t expect your significant other to forgive you easily, especially if you’ve done something to betray their trust. Try to be patient, and focus on the positive things about your relationship – you might see that the good outweighs the bad, and that’s reason enough to stay determined to make things work between the two of you.

Rebuilding a relationship after breaking up and making up can be a challenge, but with some patience, determination, understanding and love, nothing is impossible. Keep communication lines open with your partner, and find ways to make a fresh start. With time, things could be a lot better between you and your significant other.