Black MenRamey Commentaries

The Manhood Line: The Gold Files™ by Mike Ramey



*Would you like to know one of the reasons behind the demise of “Promise Keepers”?  Well, in my humble opinion, the organization went down the tubes when it started to try to ‘please’ the women in our society. 

      *Would you like to know why more and more viewers are ‘turning off’ the Olympics, when they cycle around every four years?  Because those power brokers often shift their focus away from the broad, competitive spectrum and narrowcast to the women of society. 

      *Would you like to know how out-of-wedlock births (OOWs) are going to be made to decrease across the board?  When the political power brokers and social planners get back to basics and start to emphasize marriage between one man and one woman–again!

      As T. D. Jakes so aptly put it years ago: “A nation of women cannot raise up a nation of men”.  A man cannot get to the right level of maturity without godly, upright, real men showing him the path to true manhood.

      My column is not aimed at the topic of same-sex marriage.  For me, that is a slam-dunk issue because it is WRONG!  The Bible says its WRONG; God wrote the Bible; I agree with God.  I do NOT care what the law or the courts say.  Case Closed.  No, my loyal reader, I’m more interested in the endless celebration of the ‘single life’ with children and without traditional marriage. 

      How have we lost our way?  First, divorces have become easier to obtain to the cheers of the social planners (until they had to wrangle with the child support courts).  The next rung moved into single-headed households, which led to a rung called abortion on demand, which led to a set of rungs marked ‘same-sex marriage’ and ‘the transgender option’. 

      It takes a HUSBAND to be a true FATHER–IF you want to do it God’s way!

      Check out the local counseling programs, juvenile correction facilities, or local prisons for the end result of a ‘casual carnal encounter.’  The bills CONTINUE to come due, as local and state governments struggle to not only find a way to pay for such services; they have to bankroll the payroll of the people to DEAL with illegitimate children–and their wayward, unmarried parents.


      I’m not bashful, brothers: Wed her BEFORE you bed her!

      Do you sense a trend building in my column this month?

      Now, you may wonder what kicked my keyboard for my column this month.  It was a public service campaign by a group on fatherhood.  For weeks, the campaign bugged me until I figured out that marriage had been quietly de-emphasized…but irresponsible fornication was NOT being challenged.  It’s simple: Get married—then have kids.  YOUR children deserve YOUR name, brothers.  The mother of your children deserves your love and respect by getting the ring, the preacher, and the license.

     Brothers–let me break it down for you.  Some of you may have come from single-parent homes.  You know the pain and problems that you went through–and may STILL be going through.  You do not need to repeat the sins of your parents by running around in the streets.  It takes two to do wrong, no matter how a slick ad campaign may convince you otherwise.  


     The Out of Wedlock (OOW) issue. In case you haven’t been told there is a TEN-generation curse on what the Bible calls ‘Bastards’–those children born out-of-wedlock.  The ONLY way that the curse CAN be broken is the Bible way by repentance and surrender to Jesus Christ (John 3:16-30 KJV).  Please do NOT think that those involved who surrender their lives to Christ get off the hook.  Yes, eternal destinations are settled.  However, there are still consequences in play that MUST be handled by the father and mother of that child.  Father and mother must get married and the child born out-of-wedlock must carry the name of the father…NOT the mother.

     A few years back, I recall reading an article about how denominations that DO NOT put forth basic, biblical truths from the pulpit and the pew are having more and more problems keeping their doors open.  In other words, by catering to the social ‘whims’ instead of the biblical mandate, people don’t see the need to attend church.

     God will NOT be mocked.  He does have consequences for sin.   

     More disturbing–watching the ‘show’ in the so-called ‘conservative’ churches, whereby ‘Member X’, or ‘Minister X’ has a son/daughter caught up in a sexually compromising situation.  Biblical church discipline is seldom practiced.  There is no ‘shotgun wedding’, nor shame displayed.  Instead, the matter is ‘swept under the rug’, and everyone pretends the matter has been concluded.  There would be no ‘baby showers’ for teenage girls at the schoolhouse, if the Pastor and congregation did their job at the church house, and excuses were not shucked by parents at THEIR house!


     Again, first things first brothers; do not BED her–until you WED her.  Let me also say that NO woman who thinks highly of herself should settle for anything less than a marriage proposal from an upright brother, pre-marital counseling, the ring and the preacher.  Some of you brothers may have some steam coming out of your ears right about now, but you KNOW that I’m throwing strikes on this matter today!

     In truth, there are a lot of women who are 30 and under who have never been pulled aside by their mothers or another upright older woman and taught the basics on male/female relations BEFORE puberty. Some of these 20 and 30 something women have children from past relationships and are very bitter. Others have children and like to pretend that they came down out of the sky, rather than from some ‘…boot-knocking roll in the hay-hay’ (to paraphrase Frank Sinatra). 

     Brothers…never get involved OR intimate with a woman who is NOT secure in herself.  This is especially true if you work in a high-profile/high-visibility field like law, media or politics.  There ARE some women who cannot get past their OWN jealousy of other women—even though they ‘claim’ to be liberals and/or feminists.  Add to this the fact that she keeps ‘seeing’ your co-workers as ‘competition’.

     Now I know I’m going to get some mail on this next point, but I have to state it: MEN are not ‘scared off’ by intelligent women, PROVIDED their status is enhanced–from time to time–by their ability to LISTEN instead of TALK, TALK, TALK!  There are many cases where a man KNOWS that he is in the presence of the ‘right woman for life’, and goes to get the ring, the preacher, and the church– the woman of his dreams TALKS her way out of a marriage proposal.


     Men LEAD…Women RESPOND.  If a woman spends too much of her time thinking that she should lead, she WILL talk her way out of a proposal.  (Hint to the sisters reading my column: if you have ‘tried’ everything else–try silence; it could result in something golden).  Until we get back to putting traditional marriage in place before procreation, our village will continue to resemble a cemetery–rather than a sanctuary—for our families. 

     We USED to have the equation right before we got our Civil Rights and Voting Rights.  Have we gotten so ‘wise’ to think that throwing away the ‘marriage rites’ would lead to anything less than disaster?  It DOES take a HUSBAND to be a true father.  Any other ‘solution’ is dancing on the fraying tightrope of selfishness.

     Mike Ramey is a Minister, Syndicated Columnist and Modern Street Gangs Specialist and Consultant from Indianapolis, Indiana.  Ramey is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE: THE GOLD FILES. Bringing back some of the classic THE MANHOOD LINE columns for a new generation of men.  THE MANHOOD LINE was and is a syndicated, monthly column, written from a biblical, business, and common-sense perspective for men. Email welcome to ©2004, 2005, 2021 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International (2).

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